Behind Disappointment: Obsession & Idolatry

God cares about our well-being. He tells us to pray for our needs. He says that He will fulfill the desires of those who fear Him. He knows the deep wants of our heart, and more importantly, He knows our heart. Maybe you have an unfulfilled desire in your heart. I do. And God knows what it is. He knows what yours is. Maybe it’s more than one desire.

If you’re like me, you bring up the matter to God when something in your life triggers the desire and you find yourself thinking about it too much. One minute you were living full of joy, and then suddenly you feel bound by the pain of longing. You felt hope, but then realized you were mistaken. Disappointment comes. It’s almost as if Satan can read the emotions on your face during this time and why they are there. Things around you start to confirm the lies that you are tempted to believe because in a sick way rooted in our rebellious natures, you almost want to give in to the hopelessness.

That is a good time to cry out to God for deliverance. Many times, God has blessed me with mental peace and emotional healing by giving me understanding. I wanted to know how I had let an unfulfilled desire get the best of me. I was unable to pray for a couple of days, I was crabby at work, I was brooding constantly with a sour countenance, and worse of all, I felt out of sync with God. I hate when I feel disjointed with God. He is everything to me and when I feel distant from Him, I am not myself at all.

When I could stand myself no longer, I went to God, and I understood. My unfulfilled desire was a little, dark idol in my heart. You might understand this more as an obsession. God was not condemning me. He knows why my desire became an idol, just like He understands why someone drinks too much, does drugs, has promiscuous sex, engages in homosexuality. He understands how my desire, which is not sinful, became sinful.

The Lord was not condemning me; rather, He used my disappointment to drive me to Him. When that happened, I let Him into an area of pain and I was no longer trapped into the numbing fixation. This is what God is after—my joy and freedom. Your joy and freedom. When He fulfills my desire, He does not want me to be dependent on it, because anything other than Him will fail and fall short. A boyfriend or spouse will fail you. A child will hurt you. A dream will disappoint you. A career will not pay you the things you really need. A friend will betray you.

It comes down to who I really am and why I am here. In spite of the weakness of my flesh, I want to serve Jesus with all of who I am. Do I desire the salvation of others and the justice of children sold for sex with the same longing as my own desires?

Jesus redeems, and my times are truly in His hands.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

How has Jesus redeemed you lately?