The Bottom Line, Ministries Christian News, Articles, & Poetry 
Ladies, have you ever taken the time to dream about your future husband? As a girl and even a young woman, I didn’t really think about who my husband would be; I just knew that I had a desire to be married and have kids. It wasn’t until I was listening to a group of young women who were guest speakers at a retreat that their message hit dear to my heart. I wanted to pass their wisdom down to my own daughters and now I am passing it along to you.
Here’s what they said. First, dream about the desired qualities you have in a future husband then create a “Top Ten” list of those characteristics. On your list, include your top five absolute; I’m not changing my mind, non-negotiable, must haves in a husband. The other five on your list is to include desired qualities that are still a priority, but you are flexible if the potential suitor follows the top five must haves. Let me give you an example of what a list might look like. (Some ideas are from what they shared off of their own lists)
Must have/Non-negotiable:
- A love for God first and a solid relationship with Jesus
- A giving heart to help others
- A desire to love and pray with his wife
- Share the same life ideas (how to parent, how to handle money, etc)
- Be tall (She was 6’3 herself)
Flexible:
- Blue eyes and blond hair
- A love for winter sports
- Loves to garden
- Come from a big family
- Loves to have fun
A member of the audience asked if their lists ever changed and they said, sometimes they come across a quality that becomes more important to them as they’ve gotten older and realized that a few of the qualities they originally had on their lists were not necessary, but their top five did not change.
The last piece of wisdom they shared was to pray for your future husband. To pray for your future spouse that you don’t know and then to eventually meet him is an amazing experience in itself.
I know it may seem silly to some of you, but I can promise you this. God loves you with an everlasting love and He wants to give you ‘good things’. Take time today to share with Him what is most important to you to have in a husband, pray and seek His wisdom, and wait patiently as He answers your heart’s desire for your Prince Charming.
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass…Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him…” (Psalm 37:4-7)
Love this…such a productive way to ‘manage’ the relationships fixation of today :).
Yes. The youth of today do not understand what it truly means to be in a relationship. There is give and take. Self sacrifice. Dying to oneself. Say, this all sounds familiar. Wasn’t there a guy named Paul who wrote about this idea? I’m certain it was in reference to a man named Jesus. Blessings.
A very interesting article Renee. I made my top 5 non-negotiable list immediately after reading the first two paragraphs!
Glad to hear. I think it’s so important to have certain expectations to start a marriage off in the right direction. Just remember that only God can make your spouse truly happy. That is not your responsibility because you would be trying to achieve an unachievable goal and it’s only fair to let your spouse know that they are off the hook for trying to make you truly happy. True happiness comes from Jesus Christ.
Blessed to hear. Is it ok to pray for a specific woman?…I’m praying for her for more than year and just waiting for GOD’s perfect timing until she graduate from her school. I found all the qualities I am seeking and as I praying to the LORD.
Hi Mel,
That is wonderful that you are seeking God’s direction for your future wife especially someone specific. Do you believe that God has confirmed she is the one He desires for you? If not, then you need to seek out what the Lord has to say in regards to this woman. Keep seeking His guidance and direction so you can decipher what are man’s thoughts and emotions and what are God’s thoughts. I pray that God will give you wisdom to know if she is the one, a willingness to let go if God has someone else in mind, and the patience to wait for His answer. Blessings to you. Renee
Hmmm, you might also consider taking the approach that millions of others do when selecting your mate. “Do in order to learn” rather than “think about” and design a checklist of what you want in a husband. Do in order to learn is another way of saying “trail and error” … when I was younger we called this dating. Go out and date some frogs and I’m sure you will find a prince. My wife of over 30 years often reminds me, “we plan, God laughs!”
Good point about dating to learn what qualities you appreciate or don’t care to hang around for an extended period of time. I think dating these days is definitely not the same as it was even just a few years ago. The point the speakers were trying to make is that they weren’t willing to date just anybody. The part that I didn’t include in the article is that they would rather spend time building friendships first instead of hopping around in the dating scene. Building friendships gives them opportunities to see guys in different situations such as how they would react in a stressful or uncertain situation. They grew up in a family where people did more of what we would call old fashioned courting. Getting to know someone with the intention of getting married. Your wife is absolutely right..”In their hearts humans plan their course,but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) Thanks for commenting. God Bless.