A Stay-At-Home-Wife: An Interview

I’ve had such a refreshing experience interviewing Kelly R. of Woonsocket, R.I.  As with my other interviews, they take place by phone. I found her a sheer delight in all aspects. She is a 35-year-old married woman, with true solid Christian values. Her husband works in a bank. They live in a small ranch on 2 acres of land, with their Boxer dog Spunky, and their Siamese cat Chopper. Plus, two hamsters, Rocky and Bullwinkle, a box turtle named Speedy, and three Goldfish, Moe, Larry and Curly! They have no children at the moment, although she admits she’s hoping that miracle will happen one day. She is a “proud housewife” who tends to the home and all that entails. I found her to be funny, compassionate, and has a great love of Christ, that is the center of her life at all times.

Now, with that having been said, let’s get to the interview of this young woman – who will speak on the “stigma” of being just a “housewife” and all the negativity she has faced at various times due to her choice. I expect you will enjoy reading about Kelly and her daily routines, and the way society views a woman who chooses to stay at home and be a “homemaker” or “housewife.” And the answers Kelly responds with are priceless! So, let’s get to it. Sit back and enjoy Kelly and her wisdom!

CD: Kelly, thank you so much for taking this interview. I’m so glad you decided to speak with me today.

Kelly: Of course, I’m happy to do it.

CD: Please give us a little introduction, about whatever it is you’d like to share with the readers.

Kelly: (Laughs) Oh, that’s dangerous!  You have no idea how I could go on and on! You might want to take that back, quickly! (Laughing).

CD: No! Go for it! Anything you’d like to share, honestly – I look forward to it.

Kelly: I’m a 35-year-old woman who loves God with a passion first and always. I am married for three years and love my husband completely; he is super amazing. We love animals. We have a dog, a cat, two hamsters, one box turtle, and three goldfish. I graduated from Brown University, with a master’s degree in biology. And a minor in sociology. Currently my career is being a housewife, or a domestic engineer! Either title is fine. Although, society today being without a child, and staying at home primarily to care for the house, prepare home cooked meals, baked deserts and all the chores that go along with that role, makes the average person laugh and cringe at the same time. It’s practically non-existent today. Especially without children, and how expensive everything is right now. But trust me – people frown upon my staying at home and they have no problems showing their dismay!

CD: See, that doesn’t surprise me. Because today’s world is so different from generations of years ago. Different ideologies, different values, and Christian values are almost vanishing from sight, they’re almost non-existent!

Kelly: Yes, that is so true. Although I’m young, I have heard from so many older ladies who find my role surprising, but endearing. They often call it ‘old fashioned’ and so sweet that such a thing exists today. But from my generation, not so kind. They laugh and ask, ‘what the heck do you do all day?’ or ‘how dirty is your house that you need to stay home and not earn a living?’ Still, one of my favorites is, ‘your husband doesn’t mind you sitting around all day and watching tv while he works, and you spend his money?’ I get that last one a lot!

CD: Yikes!

Kelly: Yeah, sometimes I get really naughty, and ask God to forgive me. I’ll answer with, ‘oh, heck. He doesn’t mind at all. He makes a million a year, so what the heck, why not sit home or shop all day long?’

CD: I think that is a very sweet answer to their rude intrusive comments that undoubtedly makes their mouths clamp shut!

Kelly: (Laughing)- I mean, how harsh can they be? If I want to stay home, and my husband and I agree with this —Where is it anyone’s concern? I’m not taking government money; I’m not collecting anything. My husband makes a fine salary thank the good LORD. I wash, clean, shop, pay our bills. Keep track of all doctor visits, appointments and social calendar. I cook homemade meals from scratch, including delicious healthy deserts. While doing all this, I give thanks to God. As you know, I am a devout Christian. I believe in the man being the head of the house. I believe that a woman has her own set of duties to perform, and especially around the house. We both believe the man brings home the bacon and supplies, to take care of the home’s financial needs, and food supplies of course. I know to some this sounds totally bizarre, and maybe antiquated to most. Especially about the man being the head of the house. But that is my belief. And my husband’s as well. To tell you the truth, I kind of feel like the Amish do. The world is an annoyance and a bad influence on God’s people. I’m happy right here at home.

CD: Good for you Kelly. It is a breath of fresh air seeing you stand firm in your standards and Christianity with others, and not backing down or being intimated. Good for you!

Kelly: Thank you!  Well, this is the way I say it to others who make a big fuss about my role. I tell them about Ephesians 5:22-33– I discuss the relationship between husbands and wives, comparing it to the relationship between Christ and the church, with instructions for wives to submit to their husbands and for husbands to love their wives. You ought to see their faces blanche when I spew that line. One of the women nearly fainted from screaming at me so loudly after I quoted this verse! I think she lost all of her oxygen so quickly because she was yelling so loudly and never took a breath! I mean it!

CD: Seriously?

Kelly: Oh yes! But thank heavens she is okay. Good heavens! Well, I really do believe that a man is the head of his household. But I also believe the man has a role in caring for his wife, according to scriptures. Proverbs 31:10-31 -I often tell them about the qualities of a virtuous woman who cares for her household and family. I truly believe this is a role that is for women, and that virtue plays a big role in all of it. I have a schedule I keep. I make breakfast and lunch for my husband. Then clean up, get the laundry done, do the dishes, dust and straighten up. Make our bed. Then I sit down for my Bible reading and studying for an hour. Afterwards, I continue with housework, go shopping, or whatever it is I need to do. But every day I devote one hour of my time to the LORD in the Bible. This is a huge part of who I am. I have been praying lately to be blessed with a child. I think of Hannah’s prayer and know I will be blessed one day. And if not, it is God’s will. He will take care of it all. I will become a mother in another way. We will see what the Good LORD has planned for me and hubby.

CD: Amen to that. Do you have all Christian friends Kelly? I know you go to a church nearby. Do you have many friends from that church?

Kelly: I have one really good friend who is a devout Christian. She is a mom of two and also stays at home.  But I’m close to my whole family who live five minutes away. I have my 5 siblings, nieces and nephews, and my mom and dad. So, my life is pretty full.

CD: You devote one hour a day to the LORD in the Bible. I understand that completely. If I don’t read the Bible, even just one chapter in the morning, before or after breakfast–My day doesn’t feel right. It’s so important to connect with God for me, it’s the best part of my day.

Kelly: Amen. Just this morning I came across Colossians 3:18-19 Which advises wives to submit to their husbands as is fitting in the Lord, and husbands to love their wives and not be harsh with them. This is a favorite of mine to share when I get the ribbing and mocking from being a stay-at-home wife. All I know is that I am fine with following God’s words. And that He is the same today as He was since the beginning of time. And I don’t care what other’s think – only what God thinks. I’m not afraid of humans, only God. No one else. Period!

CD: Amen! I agree totally about not being afraid of humans, and only caring what God thinks, that’s all that matters to me too! What advice would you give someone who wants to be a stay-at-home wife? Or as you call it sometimes, a domestic engineer?

Kelly: I’d say go for it! If you are able to afford being at home…It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life. I went to Brown and originally wanted to teach and get my Ph.D. But something was more important to me than that. God! And- my husband and caring for my home. It brings an enormous amount of satisfaction to my heart and soul. I also do old fashioned canning. Bake bread and cakes and cookies from scratch and bring them to places that are trying to raise money for churches and their schools. I teach Sunday Bible class for 8-year-olds. And one day, I hope to be a stay-at-home mom. We will see how it goes. All I know is I am always busy. My husband and I have a loving honest and caring relationship, and it is a godly marriage. That is a gift from above, and to which I give thanks to my LORD daily, all day long in fact.

CD: Kelly, this has been so rewarding to hear your enthusiasm about God and living a godly life. Not only by reading the word, but you truly go out and serve others as well. You told me when we first spoke on the phone about serving at homeless shelters during thanksgiving and Christmas especially.

Kelly: I do. It is the local homeless shelter down on main. And there are so many families who come in to get a warm meal. And to socialize, and just to feel safe and supported. We’ve gotten many of these individuals’ placements and jobs to help transition them back into being independent and in the world as it is.

CD: Wow! Wonderful. God Bless you and all these shelters that make this possible for individuals. In closing, what would you like to share before we go?

Kelly: Um-Let’s see. The biggest and most important relationship in life is having an intimate one with God. God should be first and center of all things in life. When we place God first, all other things fall into place. When we follow His plans and commandments, and obey Him, we will be richly rewarded and blessed. And never let anyone push you into submission. The only one you shall submit to is God! And your husband!  Period the end. But only submit to your husband, when it is godly. Not if it is outside of godly manners. That is something very different. I need to stress that. Because if a husband is cruel, hitting his wife, or using her in a filthy perverse way, run for help. And when you love with all of your heart and soul to God, life will be good. Very good. That is a promise from above. Seek God with all your heart and soul, daily, and your life will be filled with enormous blessings from above.

CD:  Amen! That is excellent advice and an excellent conclusion. Thank you, Kelly! It’s been an honor, on behalf of myself, and TBL – thank you- and God Bless you and your husband always.

Kelly: Thank you! God bless you and this ministry of TBL too! I hope to follow up with a second part of the story, when I become a mom!

CD: Oh Yes! Will keep you in prayer for that Kelly! You will make a wonderful and dedicated mother. I’d love to do another one with you. Keep in touch, and let me know!

This concludes the interview with Kelly. Perhaps in the future we will check back in on her to see how things have progressed in her quest to become a mom. I hope you enjoyed this interview. And for those who are stay at home housewives, or moms. There is nothing to be ashamed of, this is a choice. And raising a child is the hardest job of all other jobs and is so important. So, like Kelly – don’t let anyone intimidate you. That is your choice and your husband’s and that is all that matters. That and of course – God’s thoughts especially! Amen.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.