A Marriage Made In Heaven

Ephesians 5:22-25 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. as unto the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

Katie, a runaway nun, was fifteen years his junior. She had a fiery tongue and was known for her bursts of outspokenness. One biographer called Katie Luther a “quick-witted Saxon with a ready tongue.” She could not be described as physically attractive with her longish head, high forehead, long nose and powerful chin. Yet it was her intelligence and personality that made her attractive to others. Especially Martin Luther.

Forty-one-year-old Luther, who sparked the Protestant Reformation, was quick-tempered, moody and suffered bouts of depression. Like his wife, he was given to colorful outbursts and had an inclination to state exactly what was on his mind. With his dry sense of humor, he was once noted as saying, “There’s a lot to get used to in the first year of marriage. One wakes up in the morning and finds a pair of pigtails on the pillow which were not there before.” But for an almost middle-aged man and his newly wed twenty-six-year-old bride, there was a lot more than that to get used to.

How then did two people, who seemed so incompatible upon first glance manage to remain happily married and continue to cherish each other deeply for twenty-one years?

Perhaps the secret is found in a pique quote by Luther in his early marital years:

“Of course, the Christian should love his wife. He is supposed to love his neighbor, and since his wife is his nearest neighbor, she should be his deepest love. And she should also be his dearest friend.”

Initially the marriage was an act of convenience. Katie, a nun that had fled the stifling regiments of a convent, was marrying on the rebound as she needed a home and a husband. Whilst Martin, who had been preaching for several years that marriage was a divinely established institution, needed to practice what he delivered from the pulpit. It was an arrangement of convenience and Martin stated that “The gifts of God must be taken on the wing.” So, he promptly married Kathryn von Bora.

From the outset Martin had got more than he bargained for. Katie was not only devoted to God, but she was a gardener, a cook, a nurse, a cattle-raiser, a bookkeeper, and a brewer. She ruled both her household and her husband, a situation which Martin accepted resignedly, since he was totally incapable of organizing the affairs of even the smallest household. She brought order into his life, beginning with making his bed, and giving him a pillow, which he had not done for over a year!

However, while there must have been initial tensions, Martin soon came to understand his deficiencies and Katie’s strengths in household management. “The greatest blessing, is to have a wife to whom you may entrust your affairs.” No doubt Luther was thinking of Katie when he penned these words. Accepting one another’s strengths and allowing each other to do what they do best, proved to be the very means that fortified this marriage.

One of the attributes that enabled this marriage to flourish was the implementation of patience – by both Katie and Martin. He was a man of many moods, bouts of melancholy and poor health. He had a shopping list of physical ailments and felt that at times no one understood. But Katie did. With wisdom and patience, she would nurse him back to health and listen to his list of woes. And Martin, would patiently listen to his wife’s latest plans to renovate the home, entertain unexpected guests, employ tutors for the children (they had eleven!) and bombard Luther with a barrage of domestic affairs. Their marriage was one of patience and long suffering as their commitment to one another deepened.

Both retained a sense of humor despite the trials and tribulations of raising a large family and having to stretch a frugal income accordingly to balance their budget. Once when Katie was traveling and away from home, Martin wrote the following to her in a letter:

“We thank you heartily for being so worried that you can’t sleep, for since you started worrying about us, a fire broke out near my door, and yesterday, no doubt due to your worry, a big stone, save for the dear angels, would have fallen and crushed us like a mouse in a trap. If you don’t stop worrying, I’m afraid the earth will swallow us. Pray and let God worry. Cast your burden on the Lord.”

With all the bantering, the Luther’s had a good marriage. “To have peace and love in marriage is a gift which is next to the knowledge of the Gospel.” Martin once said. And no one could deny that the Luther’s were blessed with that gift.

Under the guidance and grace of God their marriage flourished leaving us an example upon which we can draw glimmers of encouragement for our own marriage. May God bless all those who seek to honor and glorify God in their marriage.

*Quotes from Martin Luther Had a Wife by William J. Petersen (Bridge Publishing UK, 1984).