Do You Need Christian Counseling?

I was a worship leader and church choir director for years, but below the surface of what people saw in the congregation, there were all kinds of personal and relational issues. One Saturday evening I got really angry about something at home, but here I was up on stage the next morning appearing to have my emotional and spiritual life all together. Some of my hurts had been caused by local churches. I came to recognize that I needed help.

I grew up believing that Christians should not have to go to counseling, but years of pent up anger, low self-esteem, and depression, said otherwise. The “daily quiet time with the Lord” was always stressed, but I had mindsets and habits that had become so engrained in my character that it was going to require counseling to break the negative strongholds of my past. My life would not go anywhere unless I dealt with my issues.

When people try to put “spiritual bandaids” like religion jargon on our emotional wounds, the bleeding is still there. And Christians have been passively programmed to not talk about life issues. If the truth were known, there are people sitting in our church congregations with underlying issues in their personal and family lives that others would never suspect. I played “emotional hide and seek.” The greeting, “How are you?” with the response, “I am fine,” had become so common for me, like it has for lots of other people. When we say that, we are not being honest with ourselves or with others. This doesn’t mean we use other people’s shoulders to cry on. One time I responded by saying, “That depends on what area of my life you are talking about.” That person did not know what to say. Sometimes, those who we suspect the least to have hurts are the ones who need the most healing, and those who have been through deep hurts are liable to hurt others.

 I have shared from my personal past experience.  I went to a lot of sessions of Christian counseling. If you want to move forward into the future God has for you, you must get past your past. If you can relate to what I have shared, you should probably consider going to a Christian counselor.

Some pastors are trained in counseling, but most are not. Being a pastor does not make them qualified to be a counselor, though they can give you a good listening ear. This is not meant to lessen the role of pastors. It just means that that was not focus of their education and calling. So, spiritual “solutions” should never be given as a substitute for not knowing how to deal with emotional, family, or other relational issues. The emotional side of life is not necessarily linked to the spiritual! Find a qualified and trained counselor. If you cannot afford one, there are ministries that will provide one for free.

In addition to, but not in place of, is being part of a small support group connected to a local church. It is in this safe environment where one can openly expresses their hidden hurts without feeling rejected. Another option is to read and put to practice what is said in the Book of Proverbs. It is full of practical wisdom that addresses personal, relational, and emotional issues.

However you decide to do it, get the help you need, but make sure it is based on biblical teaching. Your future depends on it.

”Where there is no guidance people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety”(Proverbs 11:14).

(Some of the content of this article was taken from “God’s Healing Hope: Breaking The Strongholds of Wrong Thinking,” by John Clark, Trafford Publishing, 2008, pages 70-74).