Healing from a Dead Relationship

Sometimes the greatest lessons we can learn in life come from our failures.

Don’t you just love the fact that Scripture promises us:

“All things work together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Not just “some” things … but ALL things!

That means that even in our failures, even when we totally blow it, we can confess, surrender and approach our Father with great expectation that He will use it for our benefit and for His glory! This idea, perhaps, can redefine what we call failure into our greatest opportunities for growth and draw us in closer to God’s heart.

After the deliverance of my last (dysfunctional) relationship, the Lord made it very clear to me that He would like me to turn my mess into a message. Although I completely disobeyed God’s instructions by disregarding the boundaries He sets up for our protection in a dating relationship, He grabbed ahold of my heart and imparted to me a great mission, “To encourage and equip women to embrace their identity in Christ so that they will experience vibrant, God-anointed relationships.”

There are far too many people out there experiencing a heavy heart over a relationship that died. You may be standing over it like a carcass, begging God to breathe life back into it and resurrect it. I believe God is limitless and powerful and if it’s in His will, He can and will stop at nothing to bring life back into anything that seems dead.

In an effort to inspire healing and freedom through Christ, I want to challenge you with two powerful questions to ensure your prayers for resurrection are in alignment with God’s will for your romantic life: 

1. Was that relationship God-honoring?
2. Were you both equally yoked?

I’ve heard it once said by Pastor Craig Groeschel, “God guides not only by what He provides, but sometimes by what He withholds.” 

I want to remind you today that God loves you too much to allow you to continue in a relationship that does not honor Him. If the two of you did not draw one another into a greater understanding of His love for you, and your relationship wasn’t a glorifying example for His church, then you must thank Him for His intervention and praise Him for His grace.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Let us not run back to the things Christ rescued us from. Instead, let’s place our trust and our hearts back in the hands of our loving Creator and ask that He reveal the areas that need His healing touch.

Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)

Ask the Lord to reveal to you the lessons you are to learn so that you don’t find yourself tangled up in another relationship that leads to destruction. Seek His heart in the Word of God and pursue the peace that only the Holy Spirit can provide.

I know it can be difficult to process the pain, confusion and disappointment of a relationship you put your time, energy and effort into, just to see it completely dissolve. Our flesh has an addiction to having to understand and rationalize everything. And the difficult thing with interpersonal relationships is that we don’t always understand the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. This is one of the greatest sources of frustration in our lives: not fully understanding others.

Let’s instead “Set [our] minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (Colossians 3:2) Let us seek what God wants to reveal in our hearts to help us heal and mature so we can approach romance from a godly perspective and truly experience a God-anointed union as He so desires.

What are some of the greatest lessons you have learned from a failed relationship?