Why Rejection Wounds So Deeply

Rejection “speaks” loudly, it says, “You are not good enough to be accepted.”

Rejection attacks the very person that we are, and destroys our self-esteem. We were all created to be loved, accepted and to belong. Many who have experienced rejection in early childhood continue to battle with rejection in adulthood. A lie was believed early on that continues to torment the soul, “You are not wanted.” Rejection in early childhood can stem from abuse, abandonment, being adopted, or being bullied.

Once someone becomes a Christian they are adopted into God’s family and certainly not rejected, but oftentimes feelings of rejection still can plague you. One reason for this is new rejections come into your life such as a break-up with a boyfriend, divorce or even rejection from family members who are not serving Christ. It is amazing how the enemy knows our “blueprint” and can easily expose our former weaknesses. Another reason Christians can still battle rejection is their identity is rooted in people and not in Christ.

The closer a person is to you, the deeper the rejection can wound you. Whenever we feel pain from rejection, it is because our identity depends upon what that person thinks about us. If our identity did not depend on what others thought of us, we would not feel the sting of rejection as much. Think about that for a moment: What would your life be like if your identity was based solely on what God says and thinks about you and not the opinions of others? Even if it is your mother, father, sister, brother or child who is rejecting you.

“For the Lord will not forsake His people, and He will not abandon His heritage.” Psalm 94:14, ESV

A definition of rejection is: refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of. Other words that have similar meanings as rejection are: brush off, abandon, avoid, banish, decline, dismiss, deny and cast off.

Charles Dickins defines rejection as: Being shunned like the plague.

Jesus understands when we feel rejected, He was rejected and despised by many. Rejection is a feeling of not being loved or wanted. I am certain when Jesus walked the earth He experienced not being loved or wanted by many. Experiencing rejection on any level can make it difficult to receive love from others.

Our worth and value do not come from whether people accept and love us. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others or feel that you do not measure up, or constantly seek the approval of others; your identity is based on what people think of you. If this is the case, you will be easily disappointed and may experience depression, feelings of failure, unworthiness and condemnation.

Others may reject you, perhaps even your very own family. If this is true, I am so deeply sorry for your pain but who does God say that you are? Find a quiet place and be still before the Lord and ask Him, “God what do you think of me?” Write what He says down and trust what God says about you. God’s words are always gentle, loving, kind, and affirming. Repent for desiring man’s approval and acceptance over God’s, and ask God to show the “roots” of the rejection in your life. Begin to see yourself as God sees you. Forgive, release and bless those who have rejected you.

God says, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14.