Depression: A Personal Journey (Chinese/English)

Psalm 42:1-11As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God

诗篇42神啊，我的心切慕你，如鹿切慕溪水。我的心渴想神，就是永生神；我几时得朝见神呢？我昼夜以眼泪当饮食；人不住的对我说：你的神在哪里呢？我从前与众人同往，用欢呼称赞的声音领他们到神的殿里，大家守节。我追想这些事，我的心极其悲伤。  我的心哪，你为何忧闷？为何在我里面烦躁？应当仰望上帝，因他笑脸帮助我；我还要称赞他。我的神啊，我的心在我里面忧闷，所以我从旦地，从黑门岭，从米萨山记念你。你的瀑布发声，深渊就与深渊响应；你的波浪洪涛漫过我身。白昼，耶和华必向我施慈爱；黑夜，我要歌颂祷告赐我生命的神。我要对神我的磐石说：你为何忘记我呢？我为何因仇敌的欺压时常哀痛呢？诗10 我的敌人辱骂我，像打碎我的骨头，不住的对我说：你的神在哪里呢？我的心哪，你为何忧闷？为何在我里面烦躁？应当仰望神，因我还要称赞他。他是我脸上的光荣（原文作“帮助”），是我的神。

I suffer from depression. Does that shock you? The biggest unseen killer in the world, there are millions who suffer silently from this, millions have suicidal thoughts every day, just like me. Yes, I have thoughts about taking my own life, they flit in and out of my head sometimes, sometimes they stay for a few seconds, sometimes for longer.

我患有抑郁症。。这让你震惊吗，世界上最大的隐形杀手，数百万人默默地承受着这种痛苦，数百万人每天都有自杀的念头，就像我一样，是的，我也有这种想法，它们有时在我的脑海中闪过，有时停留几秒钟，有时停留更长时间。

So, I am writing this, for one reason, not to tell you about my depression, but about the one who despite it all, gives people victory over this terrible pain and agony, I want you tell you about my God. The God of David in Psalm 42 is MY GOD. He is the only one who can heal the scars of depression.

因此，我写这个的原因，不是为了告诉你我的抑郁症，而是要告诉你们尽管如此，却让人们战胜了这种可怕的痛苦和折磨的那位，那就是我想要告诉你关于我的神。诗篇第42篇中大卫的神就是我的神。他是唯一一个能治愈抑郁症创伤的人。

What are my scars? Well, my childhood was characterized by bullying (school) and neglect (my parent’s job), thanks to God He saved at age 16, but pain continued. Let me tell you everything was not others fault, my parents were great, they were just busy, my dad died at age 20. I did not help myself, I caused some of my own problems, in my 30-40’s, I had prolonged periods of being unemployed, and this led to me being on Cipramil 15mg tablets and being virtually addicted to them for the best part of 15 years.

我的创伤是什么？我的童年印记充满了欺凌（学校）和忽视（母亲工作原因），感谢神，他在我16岁时救了我，但痛苦仍在继续。让我告诉你，一切都不是别人的错，我的父母很好，只是他们很忙，我父亲在我20岁时去世了。我没有帮助自己，一些问题是我自己造成的，在我30-40多岁的时候，我曾经有很长一段时间没有工作，这导致我持续服用15mg的西酞普兰药片并最终对其成瘾，这15年时光本该是人生中最好的时期。

I haven’t touched them in thirteen years and marriage to Helen has helped me beyond words, her love and understanding has helped me. I can’t say that my depression has completely gone, I have and continue to have days that are beyond awful, days where my anger flares and where memories of my past completely torment me.

我已经十三年没有碰过西酞普兰了，和海伦的婚姻对我的影响是无法用语言表达的，她的爱和理解对我的帮助特别大。我不能说我的抑郁症症状已经完全消失了，当我控制不了我的脾气发怒，或是过去经历创伤的记忆还在折磨我时，这些日子还是过得非常糟糕。

Like many people in the Bible, especially Elijah, as in Chapter 19 of 1 Kings, he was found depressed sitting under a Juniper tree, he was touched by the Lord. All people who suffer from depression needing a touch from the Lord-to all of you who suffer from depression-it is only God who can touch you. It will not be a one-off touch, it will be a continual touch, fighting depression is a daily battle. So how can we overcome it?

像圣经中许多人物一样，尤其是以利亚，在列王纪上第19章中，他被发现沮丧地坐在杜松子树下，他被上帝触摸。所有患有抑郁症的人都需要神的触摸，对于所有患有抑郁症，只有神才能触摸你。这将不是一次性的接触，而是持续的，与抑郁症作斗争是一场旷日持久的战斗。那么我们该如何克服它呢。

By remembering that God is greater than depression- in 1 John it says greater is He than he that is in the world. God’s power and God’s faithfulness are two of God’s attributes to especially hold onto during times of depression. Remember that God has brought you through it before and he will do it again.

通过记住上帝比抑郁更伟大，在约翰一书中，它说他比世界上的一切更伟大。上帝的权能和上帝的信实是上帝的两个特质，在抑郁的时候特别需要坚守。记住，上帝以前曾带你度过难关，他还会再做一次。

Remember, what Jesus has done for you on the cross, he has saved you and is transforming you. He has justified you, read and make personal such verses as Romans 8:35-39. Make every promise of God personal to you.

记住，耶稣在十字架上为你所做的，他救赎了你，正在改变你的生命。他已经为你辩护，有关经文请阅读罗马书8:35-39。把上帝的每一个应许都当作给你个人的。

Ask God to fill you with his Holy spirit every day Ephesians 5:18, manage your time correctly Ephesians 5:16 and put on your spiritual armour Ephesians 6:10-18.

祈求上帝每天用他的圣灵充满你（以弗所书5:18），合理分配你的时间（以弗所书5:16），穿上你的圣灵盔甲（以弗所书6:10-18）。

Saturate yourself with the word of God, renew your mind with God’s word. Psalm 119 and Romans 12:1-2. Listen to the word of God on your phone, computer etc. Listen also to good and edifying praise music. Colossians 3 and Ephesians 5

用神的话使自己饱足，用神的道更新你的意念（诗篇119和罗马书12:1-2）。使用你的手机、电脑等聆听上帝的话语。也听听好的、有启发性的赞美诗音乐（歌罗西书3和以弗所书5）。

Find a good bible believing church that has people who understand and also preach the whole counsel of God

找一个好的相信圣经的教会，能正确理解并宣扬上帝全部教义的教会。

Draw near to God come to God and share your heart with him, tell him all your heart, what is bothering you. Then tell him.

走近上帝。。。到上帝这里来，敞开你的心灵，告诉他你内心的所有，是什么在困扰着你。然后告诉他。

Fill your mind with good things Philippians 4:8-9, remember God’s mercies and grace Lamentations 3 and psalm 103.

要用美好的事充满你的心（腓立比书4:8-9），要记住神的慈爱和恩典（耶利米哀歌3章和诗篇103）。

Forget or try to forget your past, remember your past has been forgiven by God. Psalms 32, 103 and Philippians 3

忘记或试着忘记你的过去，记住你的过去已经被上帝原谅了（诗篇第32，103篇和腓立比书3章）。

All the above are helpful, but here is the one thing that will help you above all others,

以上所说都是有帮助的，但有一件事对你的帮助最大：

Seek Thirst, Pant, Desire and Run After God Himself

就是饥渴慕义、渴求，并紧紧跟随上帝

Finally, in verses 1 and 2, we have the antidote to spiritual depression and that is to seek and thirst after God himself

最后，在第1节和第2节中，我们有了精神抑郁的解药，那就是寻找和渴慕上帝自己

You cannot and will not suffer from depression if your soul is focused on seeking after and thirsty for the living God, because in Him is found fullness of joy.

如果你的灵魂专注于寻找和渴望永生的上帝，你就不可能遭受抑郁，因为在他身上找到了喜乐的源泉。

How Desperate Are We For God?

我们为了上帝是否奋不顾身不顾一切？

Are you as desperate as David was?

你和大卫一样的渴求上帝吗？

In him, lies every blessing we have read Ephesians 1:3-14. Read and saturate your life with the scriptures but come to well like in Isaiah 55:1-2 and buy without money and without price.

我们读过以弗所书1:3-14，所有的祝福都在他身上。阅读圣经，让你的生活充实丰富，但要像以赛亚书55:1-2中那样，不用银钱也不用价值。

Your depression will be powerless, under the power and authority of the living God, seek him, thirst after him and then you will be free.

你的抑郁将是无力的，在活神的权柄和掌管下，寻求他，渴慕他，然后你就会自由。

Remember that depression is not of God, we allow depression to come into our lives, to be depressed is not of God, it is of your flesh, because it puts the focus on you and not God.

记住，抑郁不是从神而来的，我们允许抑郁进入我们的生活，抑郁不是属神的，而是来自于你的肉体，因为它把焦点放在你身上，而不是上帝。

I pray what I have shared will help you as we walk together in God’s grace.

当我们在上帝的恩典下同行，我祈祷我所分享的将给你带来帮助，。

I often sit under the juniper tree, if you do, ask God to touch you, focus and seek after him.

我经常坐在杜松子树下，如果你这样做了，请求上帝来触摸你，定睛在他身上，寻求他。

God bless you

上帝祝福你！凯斯